"Fresh or dried?"
"Uh...they'd be in the produce section, with all the other green shit we sell?"
"Do you have bags of ice?"
"Where are they?"
"In the freezer."
"Where do you guys keep the milk?"
"In the back. Just like every other store on the planet that sells milk."
"Can I return this pie? I got it home and realized the box was open."
"Yes, that's because it's a baked one. They're sealed on the frozen ones."
*guy doesn't believes me, goes to the bakery*
"I can't find another one that's sealed."
"Like I was trying to tell you, we have to take them out of the box to bake them. The box would catch on fire if they didn't. But you can still exchange it for a frozen one, if you like."
"Ummm...let me call my wife."
"Just sign on the signature pad."
"See that pen you're holding?"
"See the cord that comes out of one end of it?"
"Follow that cord until you get to the other end of it."
"Uhhh..." *guy drops pen, mashes buttons on screen, has to bring card and sign old fashioned way at cashier station with regular pen*
"Where do I pay?"
"Go to the ones with the lights on."
"Isn't this one on?"
"No, these ones over here are on. See, they're a lot brighter than the one you're standing by?"
"Just trust me on this one, ok?"